I've Never...

That's right.... It's time to play the game you'll vaguely remember from middle school sleepovers: I've Never!

The scoring is easy. Below you'll find my (and The Hater's) list of 10 things I've done. For every thing that you've done from the list, you get one point. If you've done half of my list, that means you get 5/10 points. Grade yourself on my list and The Hater's list ... then leave your score in the Comments.... So that we can say you're almost as cool as we are...

The Hater

1. I've never snuck into a movie theater and not paid for a ticket.
2. I've never had police question me for sleeping in my car in a hotel parking lot.
3. I've never pee'd on the side of a major California highway.
4. I've never lost $900 in one poker hand.
5. I've never had to bury a skunk.
6. I've never pooped in the woods and used leaves to wipe my butt.
7. I've never been attacked by a wild kitten.
8. I've never won $1000 in one poker session.
9. I've never made whooppee on a cruise ship balcony.
10. I've never sharted. (If you don't know what "sharted" is, then your answer is no.)

genderist

1. I've never killed multiple trantulas in Honduras.
2. I've never willingly exposed myself to chemical weapons.
3. I've never played in 20+ people's poop during 12 hours.
4. I've never willingly ingested radioactive material.
5. I've never flown an airplane.
6. I've never been called upon for medical assistance on an airplane.
7. I've never judged a final round for a major collegiate parlimentary debate tournament.
8. I've never been the best female shot of an M-16 in my platoon.
9. I've never made out in the Tennessee Lieutenant Govenor's office.
10. I've never convinced the collegiate business office that I graduated with honors.

Did I mention these were things we'd actually done? If you've never played "I've Never" that would be an important piece of information to clarify. Go tally your scores already; you know you'd never do that.