algebraic timing

The Hater left for work no more than five minutes ago. I thought I'd check my email before I left, and I'd no more than logged in before it hit. It's raining cats and dogs, thundering, and generally going to be super messy outside.

Don't get me wrong -- I'm tickled to have the rain. I love rain. I love the green that follows. I do not love the timing of this particular downpour.

My Dear Aunt Sally -- solve for X . You can do this; it's simple Mathematics:

Erosion [Mud + (Partly Hydrated Soil )] * (White Nurse Shoes)^2 - (Pretty, But Not Fantastic Umbrella) / X

X = Messy
X = Should Wear "Rain Shoes" and carry "White Nurse Shoes" in bag
X = The Hater just called to make sure I wasn't driving; people are pulling off the side of the road on the interstate.
X = A fantastic day to call in sick! (I won't do it, but it would be good timing and would definitely solve for X.)

Sounds like it's letting up -- I better start swimming.