saving the slobbery seeing-eye doggy

Today I was doing my thing in the chemotherapy clinic. I'm being a nurse. I'm staring IVs, drawing labs, accessing ports, hanging chemo -- you name it; if it was nursey, I was all over it.

One of our patients came in with her assistance dog. It was a big, slobbery yellow lab who immediately sat under the chair next to her. He seemed to be obediant.

* As a general rule, I don't do dogs. I grew up outside of the city limits of the metropolis of LBG. We lived where people dropped their dogs that they didn't want anymore. So Sister and I grew up knowing how to use the sling-shot. Seems like nobody ever dropped a good dog around us. We always got the big, mean ones that bit. I can't count how many times I was biking down the dirt road and had to get off my bike and grab rocks to scare away bad dogs. (Just thinking about it gives me the heebie-jeebies.) Then there was the time that Sister and I had to jump on top of Mom's VW bug to get away from the mean, slobbery doberman. I'm not saying that *all* dogs are bad. I've just met enough of the bad ones that I don't want to bother any of the other ones--- unless someone I really trust says it's okay and they won't bite me.

* This must be why I'm a cat person.

* The Hater says that little dogs aren't scary.

* Please don't call PETA on me, my cat is safe. She loves her spoilled, privileged life.

* A note on working dogs: I think it's great that dogs can be trained to help people. Seeing eye dogs are really known, but big trained slobbery dogs can also be trained to help people with other disabilities. Here's a website that talks about all the cool things that service dogs can do. This includes turning on light switches, bracing people if they were to fall, or can pick up objects as small as dimes. Too cool. These aren't dogs you shoot with a sling-shot.

* A second note on working dogs: If they're wearing their harness, you're not supposed to pet them. This is hard for me because I know they have to be *good* dogs to be trusted to do such things, and I really want to be affectionate to good animals. So be strong -- if they're working, let them work.

So back to today:

Someone else was working on starting the lady's IV. I was doing something else and watched the nurse jump up and tackle the dog. Apparently the dog had found the paper that surrounds an alcohol wipe and was chewing on it. She saved him, which I thought was both very nice and very commendable. That's a nurse way better than me; I would've never dove into his mouth.

After washing her hands she went back to starting the IV. At the most crucial part I hear a gasp, and turn to see that the dog now has a plastic ear themometer cover in his mouth, chewing. "You've got to go get it!" She looked right at me.

Now I've mentioned my prevoius history with dogs. This was not something I just jumped for.

I tried the serious command, "GIVE." I held out my hand. He just kept chewing.

Now the patient was nervous, too. "You've got to get it!" "He'll choke!"

So I got down on my knees and uttered a quick prayer as I approached this dog. Did I mention that he was a big dog? He was huge. He took up at least a third of the treatment room.

He smelled my hand and slobbered all over it. I didn't even think to put on gloves. So I was covered in slobber. I dripped with slobber.

I tried the "GIVE" command again. No dice.

He was still chewing. People were looking at me like I was crazy.

I had seen people open dog's mouths before, but I've never done that. I tried, but with no avail. I could see the mess in his mouth, and after bathing myself in dog spit, I retrieved the cause of everybody's worry.

Who said that nurses don't do it all?

(And then I washed my hands for about fifteen minutes to ease my OCD mind.)