Two things I don't want to hear in the same sentence again.
After our latest Chad experience, The Hater and I came home to recover. We passed a blood mobile on the way. My moral obligation heart pangs kicked in, so as The Hater turned on the OU/Texas game, I U-turned to go back and give blood.
I knew I could be done by the time the TN/GA game kicked-off. The game of the weekend to watch, unbeknownst to Uglyhomans. They would rather watch a disappointing loss--
Now I do therapeutic phlebotomies at work. I can throw-down with a 16-gague needle, and I know that I've got a good vessel in my right AC to hit. I've given three gallons of blood out of that vein. Unfortunately, I've got three gallons worth of scar tissue there, too. So there's always a little digging to find a good, soft spot to stick. And today was alike every other in that aspect -- but she was good and found it quickly. I sipped a diet Mtn Dew and watched Texas march over OU. There were about eight people watching the game and I was really enjoying watching them get excited.
Usually at work I'll take a pint of blood over about fifteen minutes. Never shorter than ten because you don't want people to have woozy fluid issues from losing too quickly. Sometimes we give people a fluid bolus before, too, to help lessen those chances.
My blood-giving history is pepered with lots of opportunities for my feet to be slung up in the air... And today was alike every other in that aspect, too--
I gave my pint in exactly five minutes. This is a record for me. The little voice in the back of my head runs towards the tunnel. My face starts to go numb. I know what's coming. I look at the little girl who is trying to get my arm to quit bleeing and I tell her that I'm going numb. Suddenly there's about four people shoving ice packs down my shirt, moving my legs, still holding pressure on my arm, and encouraging me to chug a coke.
I chug. But I've not had a hard-core, real, non-diet coke in a really long time. And what happens when you chug carbonation? Yep, I start to feel nauseated. My face is no longer numb.
Then they break out the ammonia inhalants. She breaks one, hands it to me, and I huff. The girls are still around my chair, now chanting for me to cough. You can't hardly not cough after huffing ammonia. Bleh. So I do that two or three times before I told her that I suddenly wasn't nauseated anymore... and I was also full of Coke. So then I was just a little woozy and sloshy.
I ate some nutter-butters. Drank some OJ. They were very proud that I didn't wait until I was in the parking lot to show off. The Hater rolled his eyes at me when I told him of my misadventure. He's glad to know that my moral obligation meter is full.
Another exciting day in the life of me.
OK, This is Weird
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