I am a culinary genius. Last night I created the greatest meal ever... starting with oatmeal.
But oatmeal isn't great, you say. Oatmeal is another form of gruel, an edible gloppy punishment, you say. Oatmeal could not have been part of any successful kitchen experiments...
I decided I was not hungry enough to justify a heatum-meal from the freezer, so I started boiling water for some less-than-exciting oatmeal. I plopped a dollup of smart butter into a bowl with a couple of packets of splenda and wondered how I could make oatmeal more exciting.
I opened a cabinet, poked around, and then the cogs started turning as my eyes found something magical... Godiva hot chocolate mix. I plopped a couple of heaping tablespoons of the mix into my now simmering oatmeal, followed by a splash of milk.
At this point The Hater comes into the kitchen, wondering what smelled so good. What are you doing, he said, I thought you were making oatmeal...
Chocolate oatmeal. He asked why it smelled so good, to which I replied, because that's what they eat in heaven. It was wonderful.
It was so tasty that I wanted to share my secret with you. The next time you're not entirely sure what you want to eat, consider oatmeal. Tune in next weekend when we discover the secrets of bleu cheese and maple syrup.