Thursday, August 31, 2006

Dear Coach Fulmer,

Dear Phil,

Please don't disappoint us again. We wrote you a letter this time last year, and I don't think you took it to heart. Please carefully consider our pleas.

Last season was not an unfortunate nightmare; it was reality. The members of the coaching staff who were "responsible" for our horrible offensive play last year have been fired. We have Cutcliff now, who we know is a great Offensive Coordinator from the past. This means there will be no more excuses for you.

Don't freak out. We're not expecting a perfect season. In fact, we would be happy with a three-loss season and will tolerate a four-loss season. It's only fair for you to know that anything worse than this will be simply unacceptable. If we have coaching leadership failures this year, we'll have no one to blame but the captain responsible for his ship.

That would be you, Phil.

We love the team. They're our Vols. We're their biggest fans in Uglyhoma. It's you whose leadership we doubt.

We want to wish good luck to the team, the school, and especially you this season. We won't start calling for your head unless we reach the five-loss plateau.

Sincerely and Best Wishes for an Awesome Season,
(and thanks for giving us something else to talk about besides Sooner football)
The Hater and genderist

PS: The Hater's coaching advice for the Cal game this weekend: Their RB is really good. Have a LB spy him the whole game. THE WHOLE GAME.

PPS: genderist wants a post script, too: Is there any way we can get Peyton back? How about Jamal Lewis? Please just don't make me mad at you again; that's all I'm asking.

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