strip tease

Now that I have your attention, if you're as socio-culturally inept as I am, you may not have been aware of the big cardio boom that's taken place over the last several months. It's no surprise that Americans want to lose weight, and likewise is it no surprise that losing weight is usually one of our most touted New Year's resolutions.

According to the American Obesity Association, approximately 127 million adults in the U.S. are overweight, 60 million obese, and 9 million severely obese. You can go to the above link for more information about calculating your BMI (body mass index) and for more widening figures about obesity. Pun intended.

With all of that said, I'm always on the lookout for a good workout video. And believe it or not, this does goes further back in time than January the 1st. I'm really proud of my small collection of yoga and pilates videos, and I think I'm pretty good at them. I'm all over some sun salutes; Namaste and such.

One of the last videos I puchased was on sale at Target. It was called Cardio Boot Camp. It moved a lot faster than I thought that it would, which made it difficult to follow. And then there was lots of jumping, and it's not that I mind jumping around... except I live on the second floor of an apartment complex and I'm sure the neighbors below me wouldn't appreciate my jumping around at 6 am. Subsequently I've not been a good cardio boot camper. (No, it wasn't an impulse buy -- who wouldn't want her body? And it was on sale!)

Meanwhile, I've been hearing about people doing pole dancing workouts, and I hear there's a place in Edmond where you can go use their poles. This really amuses me. One of my patients keeps saying that when she gets her strength back we're going to pole dance with the best of them.

I'm intrigued. If any of you know anything about this pole dancing phenomenon, please let me know. I found this website this morning, where you can buy your own pole online (with workout videos and such), but $150 is a lot of money to drop on a gadget workout.

This is probably why I dropped another $20 on Jeff Costa's Cardio Strip Tease Workouts, volume 1 and 2. If I told you I haven't gotten $20 of entertainment out of them I'd be lying. Just look at him-- and imagine him telling you to make your bedroom eyes as you crawl like a kitten on the floor.

For me there's a whole element of awkwardness involved because I don't move like those girls move. It's almost like comparing MC Hammer to Al Gore, except with a little more grace. So my California rolls don't quite roll like the girls on the tv, but it's close enough for government work. And it's still fun, which is the whole point.

My verdict: If you're looking for a big, sweaty, super cardio workout, this isn't it. But it's good times to be had once the boa hits the floor. And once I get these moves under my belt, baby, watch out. (can't touch this) Bring on the pole-

The Hater's verdict: I didn't do the workout, but I watched genderist do it. I was hoping to see more strip and less tease.