Wednesday, November 15, 2006

sexiest man alive

There has been a major mistake at People magazine, and I am very upset about it. The Hater was overlooked again for the 2006 PEOPLE's Sexiest Man Alive award.

I'd been in close email contact with Jan in editing to make sure The Hater's application packet was complete. She had all but assured me that The Hater had won this honor. We even woke up early this morning to prepare for the paparazzi barrage. He even wore his ultra-swank tie.

But, lo, George Clooney must have paid Jan off. He just wanted to rub it in Brad Pitt's face. This is poor, George, and I am less than impressed. Shame on you. For shame, indeed.

So The Hater trudged off to work this morning with his ego deflated, still wearing his fancy tie. I have fired-off three emails to Jan in the last hour, expressing my discontent and frustration. I have sent one email to Clooney. I'm an email-firing machine of vexation this morning.

Really I know it shouldn't matter that People magazine sold out The Hater (pun intended). I know that the Clooney guy is somewhat cute, and I can see how his bribery could be justified to Jan and the editing staff. But still. They're just plain wrong.

It's time the truth comes out: The Hater is the true 2006 Sexiest Man Alive award winner. We will hold a press conference this evening to accept Pepole's apologies.


nicole said...

George Clooney AGAIN??? Gah, I'm sick of him! I haven't found him appealing since his Caesar cut days on ER.

Why does it feel like they just did the "Sexiest Man Alive" issue like six months ago?

nicole said...

Oh and the Hater should be happy he doesn't appear on such a stale, uninteresting list. He's obviously way out of People's league. ;)

Anonymous said...

AW! Sorry you didn't make it Hater! Try to up your bribes next year. :)

bill said...

I think the reason is clear. Some things are too obvious for the mass media. They go for the glitzy, not the plain simple truth.

And Clooney probably did pay them off, if only to forget Batman.