There has been a major mistake at People magazine, and I am very upset about it. The Hater was overlooked again for the 2006 PEOPLE's Sexiest Man Alive award.
I'd been in close email contact with Jan in editing to make sure The Hater's application packet was complete. She had all but assured me that The Hater had won this honor. We even woke up early this morning to prepare for the paparazzi barrage. He even wore his ultra-swank tie.
But, lo, George Clooney must have paid Jan off. He just wanted to rub it in Brad Pitt's face. This is poor, George, and I am less than impressed. Shame on you. For shame, indeed.
So The Hater trudged off to work this morning with his ego deflated, still wearing his fancy tie. I have fired-off three emails to Jan in the last hour, expressing my discontent and frustration. I have sent one email to Clooney. I'm an email-firing machine of vexation this morning.
Really I know it shouldn't matter that People magazine sold out The Hater (pun intended). I know that the Clooney guy is somewhat cute, and I can see how his bribery could be justified to Jan and the editing staff. But still. They're just plain wrong.
It's time the truth comes out: The Hater is the true 2006 Sexiest Man Alive award winner. We will hold a press conference this evening to accept Pepole's apologies.
22 hours ago