No Child Left Behind--

So I'm at work yesterday, working and talking with my coworkers. We were in the middle of a random converstaion about house decorating. They were talking about how peacock feathers are back in style, returning from a big decorating debut in the 1970s. I mentioned that I thought it was President Monroe who liked peacocks so much that they roamed the property next to his home in Virginia.

And then there was silence.

Followed by... "Who?"

me: President Monroe?
them: Was there a President Monroe?
me: ...... yeah.

And then I was too speechless to say anything. I turned my back to them and pretended to do something else. Behind me I heard them whisper to each other:

#1: Do you remember a President Monroe?
#2: No, do you?
#1: No, but she's probably not making it up.
#2: But I don't remember him.
#1: She's been in school since we have. Maybe he was in office after we went to school.
#2: Idunno. Maybe.

Stunned.

So they mentioned it to me today:

me: Haven't you heard of the Monroe Doctrine? The era of Good Feelings?
them: No. Are you making this up?
me: Good history is too good to make up.

So I didn't push it. And I didn't mention anything else about peacock feathers.

The Hater says, "Haven't they ever heard of the League of Nations? World War One???"

This is sad to me. Sadder even than Uglyhoma jokes.

(The Hater says it would be too mean to say that the "no child left behind" slogan didn't apply to the inner city children of New Orleans, so I won't mention it.)

And gas is up to $2.99 per gallon. The mopeds I've seen online will get between 60-80 miles per gallon. The Hater says I can't have one.

And I can't decorate with peacock feathers.