death in the family

Harrison
1982-2007
"reliable friend and sexy farm truck"

I am distraught to report that one of my best friends, Harrison, was sentenced to Chevrolet Heaven today after 25 hard-working years on this earth.

His death was a shock to our family. He was so strong and had made no complaints in a very long time. We took him to the Vehicular Intensive Care Unit after he stalled out and started smoking, which was a shock to us because he has always been a non-smoker. In fact, he was very much against the tobacco industry and thought they should have to pay for the treatments of most lung cancer patients.

The surgeon took him back to the bay, looked under his hood and raised him high on the car stick to palpate his undercarriage. I know he was brave; he's been around too many curves on Monteagle Mountain to be afraid of heights. His prognosis was so bad that it was suggested we do the brave thing and make him a DNR.

The VICU team told us that Harrison had a cooling problem in every way possible. All of his systems were damaged and leaking. His radiator was clogged, which caused him to go the way of Fred Sanford: he had the big one (he blew his head gasket). His flex plate was untorqued. Hoses, filters, pumps and lines were caddywompus. They also said he needed to be decapitated long enough to send his head to a machine shop to be fixed. The list of problems is longer, but it's complete enough to understand that the end is near.

Harrison's been there for me and not let me down for a long time. He knows how to sing back-up to my entire vocal repertoire, the story behind all of my life drama, where my favorite parking places are, how to get home. He's been a good truck and a good friend.

I feel like I had to go out to the corn crib and shoot Old Yeller.

We will have a brief memorial service tomorrow evening before St. Peter tows him to Heaven.