unsolicited advice

Haven't you had that baby yet?

You're still pregnant?

Is today the day?

I have to believe in my heart that people who say such things are really just trying to show their concern - or, at worst, are not talented at leading the conversation.  But they're killing me softly.  I want to punch people in their face when they say such things...  mostly because it's the same people saying some variant of these phrases every blasted day.  

Every day.  

One of the people I work with is especially pushing my buttons.  She likes to ask me every morning, "You're still here?  No baby yet?"  I've spent the last 3 weeks hiding from her in my office so that I don't retort with my knee-jerk, honest answer.  Although people say that honesty is the best policy, the same people would doubtfully appreciate the answers I want to give.

You might think that avoiding one single conversation isn't worth seeking sanctuary in my office.  But that's not it.  It goes on all day long.  She's tricky, too.  She baits me into telling her that I'm tired, and when I do, she likes to laugh at me and tell me:

You don't know tired.  Just wait until this baby gets here.

I can't wait to see how you are when you're really tired because you've been up with the baby all night long.

But these aren't just one-time things, either.  Once she tells me this she likes to tell replay her quick reply to everyone who happens to come into the office.  It goes on all day long.

I deserve a sticker for biting my tongue.  Because what I really want to say is that this tired, although very real and very sucky, doesn't hold a candle to the tired I feel when my TSH is through the roof and I'm waiting for a treatment.  THAT is tired.  The problem is that when she pushes my buttons, the retort I want to give is always more colorful than that.

I'm very fortunate to work with someone who knows everything.  It's like I work with my mother-in-law, except I can't go home and beg The Hater to ask her to tone it down.  

I'm really looking forward to maternity leave; mostly because I get to hang out with the baby, but also because I can be away from the people with whom I work for a while.  I need that.

Even with a break, it's just a matter of time before she gets my official retort that I'm saving for well meaning grandparents who also seem to forget that not only am I not an idiot, I'm an educated registered nurse who has been around babies and kids since I was a teenager:

Thank you for your unsolicited advice.