placenta brain

Since I have a lifetime of experience to draw on here --  I think I'd like to officially say that feeling pregnant isn't as bad as feeling hypo.  Both conditions have several things in common:

• I'm not nearly as efficient as when I feel "normal".
• I can sleep anytime, anywhere, with anything in the background.
• Diet is restricted.
• I can't remember words that I want to use, and I use the wrong word without realizing it.  (Yesterday's word was "feather".  Today's word was "wrench".  Any noun I couldn't place became a wrench.  Example:  (in the lunch line, pointing at the plastic cutlery - "I forgot my wrench.  Could you pass it to me?")
• Constipation.
• Weight gain.
• Short mental fuse.  My tolerance for stupidity is greatly reduced.  (The difference between being hypo and pregnant here is that when I'm pregnant I have a little more energy - unfortunately, enough energy to verbalize my dissatisfaction with said stupidity.  This is why we couldn't watch the Presidential Debate very long last night.  I think The Hater was afraid I'd bust something while yelling back at the tv.)
• "Hypo brain" and "placenta brain":  Both cause me to be sound stupid when in actuality I'm really an educated person who knows how to speak in complete sentences.
• When people find out why you don't feel good, they look at you and say "awwhhhh".  (The difference is that when you're hypo, people give you a sad face when they say it, and when you're pregnant they give you a happy awwhhhh.  But it's the same exact sentiment.)
• MOST IMPORTANTLY:  Both of these things help me to realize what a wonderful, supportive husband I have to take this roller coaster ride with me.  I am so very fortunate to have him.  He's all protein, no artificial sweetener.  

I'm a little bit excited that I was able to come up with 10 points, even sporting stupidbrain.  

the new alphabet

We continue baby's indoctrination into football culture today.  We've discussed fantasy strategy and are currently watching Peyton play.  These lessons follow yesterday's lessons of SEC football.  I wanted to talk about Sunbelt football, too, but The Hater said that would make things more complicated than they needed to be.

We may go to the political HQ tonight to get a yard sign for the yard.  Our neighbors have the opposition in their yard; so now it's like our obligation to represent for the other party.  I think the office is open until 8 tonight - we'll probably venture out after Peyton's game is over.  We're also teaching baby the importance of good prioritization.  

the miraculous wedge

I want to stand up and tell everybody I know how wonderful I have slept since The Hater found a wedge pillow for my growing bump.  He wins "Husband of the Year" award again - this time for solving the problem for difficulty sleeping while pregnant.

It was tricky because I didn't want a fancy, convoluted body pillow.  I already had a knee pillow that makes me happy, and I wasn't interested in changing it out.  I had tried three or four different kinds of pillows in the house to no avail...  but this wedge...  it's exactly what I needed, the right amount of support for a pulling tummy.

And I slept most of the weekend to further test it.  It passed.  

I don't believe in free advertising, but for the sake of the comfort of other pregnant mommies, here's the link to the wedge that made the difference for me.

so much for Harvard

This baby has obviously not been reading the same pregnancy information that we have been.  There are things that are supposed to happen in the second trimester, and baby must be confused.  

First, last weekend was awful.  I felt worse than each bad day during the first trimester plus about 7 dozen.  Found a wedge pillow, which really helped, and slept so much that it's more than broken-in now.  Still, those reindeer games were supposed to be over last week.

And this morning?  I yaked.  Yep, yak fest.  Where did that come from?  Give me a break.  The only silver lining to that story is that I kept down my Synthroid for the morning.  Go team.

Baby, we're going to stop with this Twinkle Twinkle Little Star business and swap over to the Mayo Clinic's pregnancy guide to catch you back up to the learning curve.  It's too early to start falling behind.

Yes, I know "this too shall pass".  Please don't patronize me.  I'm really not in the mood.

The Fat Lady is Singing

Dear Coach Fulmer:

It ain't over until the fat lady sings, and the fat lady is belting out right now on your football coaching career.  It's a tune we've not heard very often this year - Rocky Top.

UT football has been on a steady decline for the past seven years with you at the helm leading us down the mountain of excellence into the valley of mediocrity.  We can rationalize that it's the assistant coodinators, specific players, sloppy fumbles, ill-timed penalties, unfortunate injuries, "spoilled fans", off-field troubles, the weather ... but no matter what, all these things are situations that every football team must deal with.  We are not unique in experiencing these things.

The one constant in the recent decline in UT football quality over the last few years is you.  You are the one thing that has remained constant on the ever-changing team with endless excuses from year to year as to why we are not performing better.  Players change.  Assistant coaches change.  Injuries happen.  But you and your weak leadership style remain the same.

The college football game has changed.  It's not like it was back in the day anymore.  Your coaching has not adjusted.  It's very similar to how UCLA adjusted their offense in the second half to beat us two games ago -- and we adjusted nothing to succeed only in losing.  

Don't worry.  We're not forgetting your great service in the past.  The national championship was great, and recruiting that Manning kid was the crowing glory of your coaching career.  But those days have long past.  

It's time for things to change for the University of Tennessee football program.  Since you have been the one constant factor during the decline, we contend it is you who needs to leave the university and move on.  You're not learning from your mistakes, and you're damaging Tennessee's football credibility as well as your legacy with every mediocre season you coach.

We've pleaded in the past to "Fire Phil Fulmer" and see that's gotten us nowhere.  Instead of that plea, this year we ask for you to humbly consider retiring at the end of this season.  You're taking our football team down with you, and we don't like it.  Do the right thing and get off our field.  We'll even let you pretend like there's a reason to hold your head high.

I don't know who we will find in the interim, but we do hope that 10-15 years from now we'll be able to say that the great Peyton Manning returned home to the University of Tennessee to be the head football coach.  That would be your greatest legacy to us.  Please don't make it even harder on him by taking that legacy further into the hole.  If you retire now, there's a good chance we can get someone good to replace you.  The longer you stay, the harder it is going to be for the new guy to get us back up that mountain.

Please retire.  We look forward to hearing this announcement spring of 2009.  Please consider it our first wish on the baby's gift registry.

Sincerely,

genderist and The Hater

thunderwear

Tonight at supper The Hater announced that he wanted to look for some thunderwear this weekend.

(blink)

That's right.  He said "thunderwear".

I had visions of some kind of adult underoos that I'd not heard about yet.

Thunderwear.  He said it again.

Underwear?

No, he explained.  He wanted to see if the mall had any clothes with the new OKC NBA team's logo on it...  the OKC Thunder.  Thunderwear...

He came up with that one himself.