It's the holidays and all of the people with whom I work are talking about all of the baking goodness they are producing from their kitchens. Patients are bringing in baskets of homemade confection perfections. It's certainly that time of year. Ho-ho-ho and a bottle of rum.*
The Hater and I don't really have any holiday baking traditions. We're told this will change after we have little Haters running around looking for Santa. But being surrounded by this season of refined sugar, I thought we might throw something together for the holidays. So I went through the stacks of the recipes of my coworkers and found one that looked both different and easy.
Except it called for melting chocolate in a double boiler, which we don't own. Our kitchen is smaller than most people's master bathrooms... so we've yet to accrue many fancy kitchen gadgets. And we don't have space for many of the fancy kitchen gadgets that we do own and were given at our wedding. Long story short, I told my coworkers that I couldn't make the goodies because we didn't have the equipment.
But lo! They told me that I could improvise if I used two pots, the larger on the bottom with boiling water; the smaller floating on the water. It certainly sounded do-able, so on the way home The Hater and I stopped to get the supplies.
Tra-la-tra-la...
We get everything together and I rig up the redneck double boiler. After a while the chocolate begins to melt. Except it never got really melty, and the pot I used on top was too small, so stirring in the peanuts and chow mein noodles was difficult and not at all the vision of Nana-grade goodness I was hoping to attain.
The steam burned me while we were stirring. And the chocolate goodies didn't really goo together on the wax paper, which leads me to believe that maybe I put too much stuff in the chocolate goo. We have plenty of ingredients, so we may try it again this weekend with different pots and more goo.
But as of now, we're thinking this isn't the Christmas baking tradition we want to recreate every year...
* We stopped for some wine on the way home. When we got home there was a small bottle of rum in the bag.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
fantasy drama
My fantasy football team, the Yoknapatawpha Yuccas, will play Angry Dissenter's team, the Las Vegas Goobers, this weekend in the play-offs.
The Yuccas (8-6) have led the West division and the Goobers (9-5) have led the Central division. The Hater's team, the Evil Empire (6-8), took a dive and traded its better players to us so that we would have a better chance against the leader of the East Division. He's such a good General Manager.
We were hoping that one of us would accrue enough points so that we'd both be in the finals, but it looks like we're playing in the semis instead. Which is good, really, because that means at least one of us will be in the finals.
Hopefully it'll be the mighty Yuccas of Yoknapatawpha County. (yuk-yuk-yuk)
The Yuccas (8-6) have led the West division and the Goobers (9-5) have led the Central division. The Hater's team, the Evil Empire (6-8), took a dive and traded its better players to us so that we would have a better chance against the leader of the East Division. He's such a good General Manager.
We were hoping that one of us would accrue enough points so that we'd both be in the finals, but it looks like we're playing in the semis instead. Which is good, really, because that means at least one of us will be in the finals.
Hopefully it'll be the mighty Yuccas of Yoknapatawpha County. (yuk-yuk-yuk)
Monday, December 11, 2006
LeBron
The Hater and I went to see the OKC Hornets and the Cleveland Cavaliers play tonight in the Ford Center. We were excited to see LeBron and CP3 do their things.
CP3 made some crazy drives to the basket for some serious pointage. He ended up with 30 points, 11 assists, 5 rebounds, 2 steals... not to mention being clutch in the 4th quarter. It was a Vince Young performance of the NBA.
LeBron had some good plays in the first quarter, but the Hornets figured out how to 2-man him to keep him in check. That's really all you can do against that powerhouse. If Cleveland had bunches of good players it would have been nasty.
Cleveland did have another player who was virtually unstoppable in the first half of the game. We called him Side Show Bob because he had crazy hair. (In the nose bleed section we get to name players special nicknames because it's hard to see their numbers. So we cheered for Ogre, Side Show Bob, and LeBron for the Cavaliers. And we could always tell CP3 by his blue shoes. Forrest Gump was right; it's always about the shoes.) Side Show Bob must've been tired during the second half because he didn't play so well. And CP3 dunked on him, which we think hurt his feelers. (Don't you think the picture on the left of Side Show Bob looks like Cleveland's Anderson Varejao on the right?)
We came back to our apartment to meet our neighbor, a Hornet fan. We gave him our yellow plastic whackers ("thunderstix") and relived the game for him. He offered us some $10 nosebleed tickets against the Lakers and Detroit later in January. We had such a good time tonight that we might have to take him up on both games.
CP3 made some crazy drives to the basket for some serious pointage. He ended up with 30 points, 11 assists, 5 rebounds, 2 steals... not to mention being clutch in the 4th quarter. It was a Vince Young performance of the NBA.
LeBron had some good plays in the first quarter, but the Hornets figured out how to 2-man him to keep him in check. That's really all you can do against that powerhouse. If Cleveland had bunches of good players it would have been nasty.
Cleveland did have another player who was virtually unstoppable in the first half of the game. We called him Side Show Bob because he had crazy hair. (In the nose bleed section we get to name players special nicknames because it's hard to see their numbers. So we cheered for Ogre, Side Show Bob, and LeBron for the Cavaliers. 
HBDTY AD
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!!
Happy Birthday, Angry Dissenter!
Happy Birthday to you!
(and many, many more)
We hope #28 serves you well.
Sorry that the FedEx people broke your package. They suck.
Love you!
Sunday, December 10, 2006
ho-ho-hum
Christmastime is calling, "Traffic! Traffic!"
We had great intentions today to avoid holiday traffic by staying in and making a shopping game plan for later this week. We've washed and folded laundry. We've straightened the tables. We watched football. We've watched some tv that we'd DVR'd. We've mourned that we have to work tomorrow. But we've not really done anything as far as list-making goes.
We think we're totally finished with all of our shopping things except for each other. And Sister called today to announce that we only had 14 shopping days left... but we were planning on exchanging before our trip home, which means we really have about 8 1/2 days left. We're usually more organized by this time of year... the truth is that we're more excited about our trip home than we are about shopping!
It's hard to get motivated when it's cold and windy out. Tomorrow starts a heat wave; it should get up into the mid-60s. Zoloft will hardly know how to act.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
j-weird
We had a very awkward experience this afternoon at lupper. So awkward, in fact, that we'd argue it was j-awkward...
Everybody knows that The Hater shoots marbles; that's just his thing. We actually met on the marble-shooting team in college. And he teaches marble-shooting techniques now. The marbles have really come full circle, pun intended.
Anyway, we went with Little Brother yesterday after a marble-shooting tournament to eat at a restaurant. The story becomes more complex if you realize that The Hater actually coached Little Brother at collegiate-level marble-shooting tournaments, and that's how we know him. After the waitress brought the first round of drinks and bread, The Hater saw someone out of the corner of his eye: the coach who was the head marble-shooting coach when The Hater coached Little Brother, who we'll call The Ghost of Christmas Past.
Drama ensues if you realize that The Ghost of Christmas Past was fired from his marble-shooting job this past year... and neither Little Brother nor The Hater had heard from him for several months. And there he was, apron and all, working as a server where we were eating.
Little Brother panicked; there were many unresolved conflicts with he and The Ghost of Christmas Past. We had already ordered our food. He voted we stack some cash on the table and leave. The Hater thought we should ask for it to go. I trumped them both and said that we were already there, the food was already ordered, we'd already made accidental eye contact; we might as well stay.
Little Brother directed his attention to his cell phone and sent out an APB to other marble-shooters he knew. The Hater grabbed a crayon and pretended to draw pictures of Lyle Lovett. I was in a unique position where I could see the entire restaurant; my job was to nonchalantly watch but not watch so that we would always know where he was. I was scolded several times for not being as nervous as they were.
The Ghost of Christmas Past made every effort to not walk by our table. The Hater and Little Brother made every effort to not make eye contact. I made fun of them both for being turkeys.
The Hater and Little Brother inhaled their food. They squirmed until I asked for the rest of mine in a doggy bag. We left, noting that it was, by far, the most awkward dining experience The Hater has ever had -- and one of the most entertaining ones I have had.
In retrospect, The Hater says that it would not have been as j-awkward if Little Brother hadn't been with us. He says that we probably would have spoken to him if it had just been us.
Knowing what we know now, there's no way we're going back to that restaurant for a while.
Everybody knows that The Hater shoots marbles; that's just his thing. We actually met on the marble-shooting team in college. And he teaches marble-shooting techniques now. The marbles have really come full circle, pun intended.
Anyway, we went with Little Brother yesterday after a marble-shooting tournament to eat at a restaurant. The story becomes more complex if you realize that The Hater actually coached Little Brother at collegiate-level marble-shooting tournaments, and that's how we know him. After the waitress brought the first round of drinks and bread, The Hater saw someone out of the corner of his eye: the coach who was the head marble-shooting coach when The Hater coached Little Brother, who we'll call The Ghost of Christmas Past.
Drama ensues if you realize that The Ghost of Christmas Past was fired from his marble-shooting job this past year... and neither Little Brother nor The Hater had heard from him for several months. And there he was, apron and all, working as a server where we were eating.
Little Brother panicked; there were many unresolved conflicts with he and The Ghost of Christmas Past. We had already ordered our food. He voted we stack some cash on the table and leave. The Hater thought we should ask for it to go. I trumped them both and said that we were already there, the food was already ordered, we'd already made accidental eye contact; we might as well stay.
Little Brother directed his attention to his cell phone and sent out an APB to other marble-shooters he knew. The Hater grabbed a crayon and pretended to draw pictures of Lyle Lovett. I was in a unique position where I could see the entire restaurant; my job was to nonchalantly watch but not watch so that we would always know where he was. I was scolded several times for not being as nervous as they were.
The Ghost of Christmas Past made every effort to not walk by our table. The Hater and Little Brother made every effort to not make eye contact. I made fun of them both for being turkeys.
The Hater and Little Brother inhaled their food. They squirmed until I asked for the rest of mine in a doggy bag. We left, noting that it was, by far, the most awkward dining experience The Hater has ever had -- and one of the most entertaining ones I have had.
In retrospect, The Hater says that it would not have been as j-awkward if Little Brother hadn't been with us. He says that we probably would have spoken to him if it had just been us.
Knowing what we know now, there's no way we're going back to that restaurant for a while.
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