We've been bad about remembering to post this week, but we have some colorful reasons why:
1. The Hater had to get ready for another year. We cleaned his office with some cleaner he found at the $ store. It ended up taking the hide off of both his and my right hands. The Hater learned how to exfoliate. It was good times with dry, scaly hands. Seriously, it looked like old people skin. But we're back to normal now. Next year we will use gloves.
2. Sister's wedding pictures... Still a fiasco! My extra time has been spent working on the photo album for her. I'm using the BookSmart program, which gags me about every other day. But it looks better than the iPhoto Mac program, so I'm trying to lump it. I hope to have it finished by this weekend, so then Sister can look online at how fancy it turned out to be. We'll also be able to order them, etc.
3. Work has been crazy for both of us. So when we come home, we want to avoid the computer.
4. Zoloft has been extra pitiful and needy for attention and love.
Meanwhile, Uglyhoma has had a really wet year. That alone isn't the newsflash... but we've had 42+ inches of rain this year. It's #10 in the top ten wettest years since they've been keeping track of it. They expect we'll be in the number 4 or 5 slot by the end of the year, especially if it keeps raining as much as it has been.
We're expecting more this weekend.
This makes our next big project more difficult: doing the stain/water sealant on the fence in the back yard. So that project may not get started for a while. We've got plenty of other things that need to do be done, anyhow. (Like paying attention to the boxes we've been ignoring for a month!)
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
wine vs water: a primer
In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Poop Per Year (ppy).
You may remember seeing E. coli in the news with all of the dirty spinich salad mixes in the last year or so. Americans suddenly realized that "organic" means "grown in poop", and lessons they had been taught about actually washing fruits and vegetables before you eat them really hit home. Every so many years you'll also see big E. coli scares at local water parks, and The Hater has driven past enough of them with me in the car that now before I can speak he will point and say, "That's where E. coli lives."
That's right, honey. E. coli is not our friend. Snacking on spinich salads and swimming at White Water Bay will significantly increase your personal ppy consumption.
However, we do NOT run the risk of E. coli consumption when drinking wine (or Tennessee whiskey) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting, usually several times before it gets to the bottle.
Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service.
It was no accident that Jesus' first miracle was turning water into wine, my friends. Carpe diem.
You may remember seeing E. coli in the news with all of the dirty spinich salad mixes in the last year or so. Americans suddenly realized that "organic" means "grown in poop", and lessons they had been taught about actually washing fruits and vegetables before you eat them really hit home. Every so many years you'll also see big E. coli scares at local water parks, and The Hater has driven past enough of them with me in the car that now before I can speak he will point and say, "That's where E. coli lives."
That's right, honey. E. coli is not our friend. Snacking on spinich salads and swimming at White Water Bay will significantly increase your personal ppy consumption.
However, we do NOT run the risk of E. coli consumption when drinking wine (or Tennessee whiskey) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting, usually several times before it gets to the bottle.
Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service.
It was no accident that Jesus' first miracle was turning water into wine, my friends. Carpe diem.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
king of the castle
We have an hour until our fantasy draft takes place, and we're excited.
Our royal idiocy was showing tonight because we were thinking that we would have to go to his work and use two computers to be able to both draft. It was only during supper when we thought about opening two windows (tabs) on the same computer and drafting off of one unit. Last year we had to use two computers because both of our computers were slow, but we're thinking that we can make it work with one.
If it doesn't work, we'll have a lot of trading to do next week.
I'm sorry to everybody who wanted to play, but waited too late to join the league. There's always next year, and I will listen to all of the suggestions that people want to offer.
The Hater and I will be in the same division of the league, which means we won't both be able to go to the play-offs. If we're going to lose, we'd rather lose to each other - maybe one of us will dominate the division and win the Super Bowl ring this year. That would be nice, I think. If I win again, I'll probably let The Hater wear my ring so that we both will have one.
It's almost time for real football, and we're excited. Actually, we're welcoming football season with open arms.
The XBox NFL Madden football game comes out Tuesday, and we're looking forward to playing that together this week. We have planned out supper for the week to maximize playing the game. The Hater calls plays and controls the QB. I control the RB/WR and like to play DE or DT on defense so I can try to sack the QB. The best part of the game is that we get to play it together - and bring the Titans to the Super Bowl.
Our royal idiocy was showing tonight because we were thinking that we would have to go to his work and use two computers to be able to both draft. It was only during supper when we thought about opening two windows (tabs) on the same computer and drafting off of one unit. Last year we had to use two computers because both of our computers were slow, but we're thinking that we can make it work with one.
If it doesn't work, we'll have a lot of trading to do next week.
I'm sorry to everybody who wanted to play, but waited too late to join the league. There's always next year, and I will listen to all of the suggestions that people want to offer.
The Hater and I will be in the same division of the league, which means we won't both be able to go to the play-offs. If we're going to lose, we'd rather lose to each other - maybe one of us will dominate the division and win the Super Bowl ring this year. That would be nice, I think. If I win again, I'll probably let The Hater wear my ring so that we both will have one.
It's almost time for real football, and we're excited. Actually, we're welcoming football season with open arms.
The XBox NFL Madden football game comes out Tuesday, and we're looking forward to playing that together this week. We have planned out supper for the week to maximize playing the game. The Hater calls plays and controls the QB. I control the RB/WR and like to play DE or DT on defense so I can try to sack the QB. The best part of the game is that we get to play it together - and bring the Titans to the Super Bowl.
Friday, August 10, 2007
pulling rank in the LIVESTRONG Army
Do you hate cancer? I do.
Lance and I are in cahoots again. He’s been sending me emails the last few days. For the sake of the cause, I don’t think he’ll mind me sharing the highlights with you.
Lance and I are in cahoots again. He’s been sending me emails the last few days. For the sake of the cause, I don’t think he’ll mind me sharing the highlights with you.
How is the next commander-in-chief going to fight the number one killer of Americans under 85?
I am no longer content to let the cancer question go unanswered.
That is why the Lance Armstrong Foundation is hosting the first-ever LIVESTRONG Presidential Cancer Forum to make sure our next President knows that Americans across the country expect cancer to be a national priority. In Cedar Rapids, Iowa, on August 27 and 28, we will ask Democratic and Republican presidential candidates to go on the record with their plans to fight cancer.
As a member of the LIVESTRONG Army—and a leader in the fight against cancer—I need you to be part of the LIVESTRONG Presidential Cancer Forum, demanding answers to the cancer question. Here’s how you can get involved:
Get your tickets. The LIVESTRONG Presidential Cancer Forum is open to the public, and tickets are free. Quantities are limited and will be distributed on a first-come, first-serve basis.
Submit your questions. Lance Armstrong and MSNBC Hardball host Chris Matthews will ask candidates questions from the public.
Spread the word. Ask friends and colleagues to sign the LIVESTRONG Army petition to make it clear that our next President must be prepared to answer the cancer question.
As of this week, Democratic candidates Senator Hillary Clinton, Senator John Edwards and Governor Bill Richardson have confirmed their participation for the Democratic LIVESTRONG Presidential Candidate Forum on August 27. Republican candidates Senator Sam Brownback, Governor Mike Huckabee and Governor Tommy Thompson have confirmed their participation in the Republican LIVESTRONG Presidential Candidate Forum on August 28.
The goal is to get rid of this disease forever. The LIVESTRONG Presidential Cancer Forum gives all Americans the opportunity to ask the candidates “What's your plan? And where does cancer fit into your policies?" Together, as the LIVESTRONG Army, we can put an end to cancer.
It is possible to stop this disease, but we are not making it a priority or applying the resources needed to stop cancer from killing 560,000 people each year.That is why the Lance Armstrong Foundation is hosting the first-ever LIVESTRONG Presidential Cancer Forum to make sure our next President knows that Americans across the country expect cancer to be a national priority.
Sign the LIVESTRONG Army petition today to show all presidential candidates that they must make the fight against cancer a priority of their administration.
The LIVESTRONG Presidential Cancer Forum offers a unique opportunity to make cancer part of the national dialogue by asking the presidential candidates to go on the record with their plans to fight the disease. The Forum will be co-hosted by MSNBC’s Chris Matthews and me , and will be a historic event that puts cancer on the same national stage as other tough questions our country faces.
The LIVESTRONG Army petition will make it clear that our next President must be prepared to answer the cancer question. Join me and thousands of other Americans in demanding answers to the cancer question by signing the LIVESTRONG Army petition today.
LIVESTRONG,
and me, genderist
Thursday, August 09, 2007
overtime
I had very good intentions to leave work today at 2pm... because I stayed so late on Monday night.
I'm on salary now, and have been told there are no blue ribbons for working overtime. So... I was going to leave early today and tomorrow. At least that was the plan.
I ended up leaving at 3pm instead.
Which means tomorrow I'll leave at 1pm to make it come out even.
Things that are hard to say and do:
* I won't eat lunch at my desk.
* I will leave after an 8 hour day, despite how much work I have yet to do.
* When the 40 hour week is over, I quit until Monday.
But I'm really trying to learn. And that's where I am right now.
I'm on salary now, and have been told there are no blue ribbons for working overtime. So... I was going to leave early today and tomorrow. At least that was the plan.
I ended up leaving at 3pm instead.
Which means tomorrow I'll leave at 1pm to make it come out even.
Things that are hard to say and do:
* I won't eat lunch at my desk.
* I will leave after an 8 hour day, despite how much work I have yet to do.
* When the 40 hour week is over, I quit until Monday.
But I'm really trying to learn. And that's where I am right now.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
technical difficulties
The cable guy came to install the internet and phone (land line) service to the house. He hacked and coughed and claimed to have bronchitis. He hadn't been here long before he was hacking and coughing and telling us how the satellite people "ruined the Smart Box" by running their cords the wrong way.
He went into much more detail than that, but he might as well have been speaking in tongues because I had no clue what he was saying. It reminded me of learning about different types of intelligences. Not so much kinesthetic intelligence or emotional intelligence, but intelligence towards more practical things. For example, medical intelligence. Even educated people can have a hard time reading and understanding medical literature. It's a different language altogether, and if you don't speak the language, it's hard to understand.
In the realms of technical intelligence and computerized intelligence, I consider myself to be above average. I don't know C++, but I am the person in the office who is called when computers lock up or when cell phones need to be reprogramed. Tech I get.
However, I function at a basic electrical intelligence. Basic as in I would be riding the short bus to electrical school. Basic as in "See Tip run." You know, don't touch fallen wires, raw wires sticking out are bad, and call other people if you have questions about said wires. That's why we have electricians!
The only time I think I would need to know how to play with wires is if I had to hot wire a car. Mind you, I have no idea how to hot wire a car, but I'm sure I could figure it out if I had instructions to direct me. You know, to flee from zombies.* If you're interested in learning how to hot-wire a car to flee from zombies, see the link below. (I would hyperlink it, but Blogger and the Mac don't play well together.)
So anyway, the cable guy instructs The Hater what to say to the satelite people before he leaves, coughing and hacking.
Hooray, after two months we have the internet.
Boo, to get it we lost the satelite signal.
Ladies and Gentlemen- I am finally blogging from home. The Hater is playing video games as we wait for the satelite people to come fix the cluster they created the first time they piddled with the wires. Maybe we should call an electrician.
* Mom insisted I learn how to drive a straight shift when I learned how to drive. I think this is because BigDaddy made her do it when she was young. Although she was insistant that this take place, and she had a car where I could learn, she refused to sit shot-gun to my learning curve or let me drive her car. It was actually Obmij who taught me to drive a stick in the field behind our house, where we jerked and coughed across the orchard. One night I asked why I was learning to drive a stick when she wasn't going to let me drive her VW Bug and the other cars were automatics. She said, "What will you do if there's an emergency and you have to drive away in a straight shift?" I answered, "That would mean that I was stealing a car, and as long as I'm stealing a car, I'd steal an automatic instead." Straight shift lessons in the back yard stopped the next week.
* Prepare yourself for zombie warfare: http://www.ehow.com/how_2044915_hotwire-car.html
He went into much more detail than that, but he might as well have been speaking in tongues because I had no clue what he was saying. It reminded me of learning about different types of intelligences. Not so much kinesthetic intelligence or emotional intelligence, but intelligence towards more practical things. For example, medical intelligence. Even educated people can have a hard time reading and understanding medical literature. It's a different language altogether, and if you don't speak the language, it's hard to understand.
In the realms of technical intelligence and computerized intelligence, I consider myself to be above average. I don't know C++, but I am the person in the office who is called when computers lock up or when cell phones need to be reprogramed. Tech I get.
However, I function at a basic electrical intelligence. Basic as in I would be riding the short bus to electrical school. Basic as in "See Tip run." You know, don't touch fallen wires, raw wires sticking out are bad, and call other people if you have questions about said wires. That's why we have electricians!
The only time I think I would need to know how to play with wires is if I had to hot wire a car. Mind you, I have no idea how to hot wire a car, but I'm sure I could figure it out if I had instructions to direct me. You know, to flee from zombies.* If you're interested in learning how to hot-wire a car to flee from zombies, see the link below. (I would hyperlink it, but Blogger and the Mac don't play well together.)
So anyway, the cable guy instructs The Hater what to say to the satelite people before he leaves, coughing and hacking.
Hooray, after two months we have the internet.
Boo, to get it we lost the satelite signal.
Ladies and Gentlemen- I am finally blogging from home. The Hater is playing video games as we wait for the satelite people to come fix the cluster they created the first time they piddled with the wires. Maybe we should call an electrician.
* Mom insisted I learn how to drive a straight shift when I learned how to drive. I think this is because BigDaddy made her do it when she was young. Although she was insistant that this take place, and she had a car where I could learn, she refused to sit shot-gun to my learning curve or let me drive her car. It was actually Obmij who taught me to drive a stick in the field behind our house, where we jerked and coughed across the orchard. One night I asked why I was learning to drive a stick when she wasn't going to let me drive her VW Bug and the other cars were automatics. She said, "What will you do if there's an emergency and you have to drive away in a straight shift?" I answered, "That would mean that I was stealing a car, and as long as I'm stealing a car, I'd steal an automatic instead." Straight shift lessons in the back yard stopped the next week.
* Prepare yourself for zombie warfare: http://www.ehow.com/how_2044915_hotwire-car.html
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