Thursday, November 30, 2006

snow day

I've never had a snow day as long as I've been a nurse... until today! The clinic is closed today because of snow and sleet and all the other goodness brought to us by the arctic front.

During the night there was a 1/2" sheet of ice over the city. As of now they're promising between 4-6" of snow today. It's thundering and super-snowing outside right now.

The Hater's trip was canceled. I'm home from work. Zoloft is so excited she can hardly stand it.

(We're secretly hoping that school and work will be closed tomorrow, too.)

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

meep meep muhhh

My alarm clock died this morning. The clock itself isn't dead, but the button that turns off the alarm is, which means you can't actually make it stop meeping. This is sad to me because it's been my trusty alarm clock for twelve years.

And I've moved a LOT in those twelve years.

Sure, it didn't go off the day I had a final in my Pediatrics nursing class and I almost failed the final because I only had twenty-five minutes to take a two hour exam. Sure, I zoomed through about half of it and marked "C"s for the last half of the exam. Sure, by the grace of God I passed both the final and the class. That clock and I have a history - good times and bad times.

It woke me up for my wedding day, for long car trips home. And the days it wasn't supposed to go off, it never did. That's loyalty, my friends.

A couple of weeks ago The Hater asked me if I wanted a new alarm clock for Christmas. Of course not, I said, this alarm clock is special and great and wonderful. And the numbers are about three inches tall, so you can tell the time from any point in the room. It's so bright that sometimes you don't even have to open your eyes to see it.

The Hater assures me he didn't sabotage the clock, and I believe him. Although I think he's secretly looking forward to a new alarm clock.

It's tragic. I'm sad.

But it's nothing that a little retail therapy can't alleviate.

(Although we can't actually shop for anything until the dreadded 4-8" of snow and ice goes away. That's what they're predicting for us tomorrow.)

Tuesday, November 28, 2006


Doctrine. Religion. Faith.

Somewhere between all of those we develop a belief system for ourselves. (Even disbelief is a belief as justifiable as any other commercial doctrine.) This system of belief that we develop and nurture guides us as our inner voices through life - at least until we deviate or evolve into a new belief system.
As a child I can remember visiting a different church than my family usually attended, one more conservative in nature. In Sunday School we read part of the lesson and were instructed to close our booklets. The teacher then asked us what we had just read. I raised my hand and told the Bible story in my own words. I remember thinking that it was a silly question because we had just read it. After I finished the teacher looked at me and said, "No, that is incorrect. Would someone else like to try?" He might as well have slapped me with a wet fish. A girl next to me smiled and told the same story I did, a more detailed version with numbers included. When she finished he smiled and said, "Yes. That's what we read."

I raised my hand. I didn't understand. It was the same story. I asked for clarification.

He told me that instead of saying "a group of people" she said "47 people" (or whatever it was), which made her story correct. The class looked at me like I was an idiot. He tried to move on with the lesson.

I raised my hand again. Sister elbowed me. I wasn't a brilliant kid, but I was smart enough to do okay on the reading comprehension Basic Skills tests. "But what does that matter? It's the same story." My inner heretic was born, and I didn't have a clue.

He closed his book and the class turned into a lesson about how if you could not quote the Bible by chapter and verse, you would not get into Heaven.

I was in middle school. I hadn't read the whole Bible yet, but I was pretty sure that Jesus didn't say that. I raised my hand. I asked where it said such things. The teacher became angrier and went into more hellfire and brimstone and damnation and such.

So now I'm damned to hell because I didn't know that instead of a "group" of people, there were really "47" people. There goes my golden ticket to Heaven. (This all happened before the time in my life where I had really learned the art of slight sarcasm. I wasn't trying to be a heretic. I wasn't trying to be an ass. I was naive; and I just didn't understand.)

I raised my hand. Sister elbowed me. "If we're supposed to know everything the Bible says (by chapter and verse), are we also supposed to know what each version says? What's so special about the King James Version?" I might as well have spit on the book itself. At this point the teacher's face was beet red and he was sweating bullets. He was angry.

My Sister had broken two of my ribs by now, cuing me to shut my mouth. I took her lead and nodded my head the rest of the class. I was ashamed that I had failed my pop-test on reading comprehension and memorization. Sister and I didn't tell Mom and Dad that we were both destined for Hell, her by genetic association.

Incidentally, we didn't go there for Sunday School again.
The saddest part of this story is that mine isn't special. Most adults I know have different versions of someone damning them to hell. Thank goodness for the New Testament, eh?

But the purpose of this post isn't to point fingers and say whose version is more accurate, or if knowing that 47 people did whatever will actually win the Final Jeopardy question to get you into Heaven. It's simply not the point.

What I want to talk about today is only slightly related to that story. I want to complain about people who are in respected leadership positions within religious institutions who say and do things that are the polar opposite to the things they preach. It's wrong.

For example, it is wrong for religious leaders to preach peace, love and understanding while in the pulpit, and then turn around and say ugly things about groups of people who don't interpret scriptures the same way.


Monday, November 27, 2006

weekend recap

1. I worked Thanksgiving Day and the Friday afterwards. They were good, busy days, but I'm glad to go back to my normal routine. I'm ready to have a regular Mother Duck day instead of a crazy Mother Duck day.

2. The Hater's parents came to visit for Thanksgiving. We ate at one of the fancy restaurants in town. The Hater took them to the Cowboy Museum while I worked on Friday. Saturday morning we all ended up at the state fair grounds looking at horses and tack stuff. We all had a good visit and they've made the long trip home safely.

3. Football recap: (because we love our football)
A. The Vols won.
B. The Titans had the greatest comeback in franchise history during the 4th quarter to come back and beat the NYG 24-21.
("Led by Vince Young," says The Hater, "the QB of the future.")
("Sorry, Eli." adds genderist.")
C. Peyton won.
D. The Hater won his fantasy football game. My fantasty team might win, but am currently behind; it will be decided by tonight's football game.
E. The sad football news: Notre Dame lost to USC. Last year ND was cheated. This year they just lost. We would have liked them to win.

4. The Hater and I slept until never-thirty Sunday afternoon. That was our first chance to sleep late in weeks and weeks.

5. All things considered, we rate our holiday weekend a 7.6/10. It would have been higher if we had made cornbread dressing and if we lived closer to home. To remedy what we can control now, we'll be making some of Nana's infamous cornbread dressing within a few weeks. We also have a big trip home planned for Christmas.

6. Yesterday I put out our small tree and part of the nativity set. We hung the stockings and put out just a few other holiday knick-knacks. The Hater also let me play Christmas music. He bought me two new holiday cds (Elivs and Johnny Cash), but made me promise that I wouldn't buy any more this year. Mom bought me a James Taylor Christmas cd last week. ... I walked past a cd of John Denver with the Muppets, but I've made a mental note to find it next year. We're not putting out the big tree and trimmings because we've got big plans for our trip home next month.


1. Although not related to this past weekend, The Hater had a big trip planned for this coming Thursday. We also have a 60% chance for bad winter weather that day, too, which would cancel the trip. We're hoping it'll wait until next week to snow.

2. We are really excited about our Santa Secrets!! All we officially lack is boxes and wrapping paper.

3. Zoloft continues to be the cutest cat in the universe.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

RIP weekend


'What will your obituary say?' at

'What will your obituary say?' at

The Hater and I have taken full advantage of the first weekend day we've both been off of work and not been entertaining people. It's a sleeping late, instant pizza, harassing the cat, football-watching day (unless someone calls to offer other options).

Go Peyton Beat Philly

Saturday, November 25, 2006

we were hoping for millionaires

The Hater is going to be reincarnated as...
A confused possum
'What will you be reincarnated as?' at

genderist is going to be reincarnated as...
A lemming
'What will you be reincarnated as?' at

Thursday, November 23, 2006

looking the other way

Last Thanksgiving this blog brought you the Death Clock. In the first-annual attempt to avoid a laundry-list post about the things for which I'm thankful*, haiku of the id brings you...

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” -Martin Luther King Jr.**

Hey Kids! Isn't Genocide cool?? The governments of our world think so because they have done jack taco to stop it... Let's talk about the genocide that continues in the Darfur province of Sudan. That country's civil war has brought them one of those quirky gifts that comes along with ethnic conflict: genocide.

Statistics taken from the Darfur Ambassador's Power Point Presentation:

  • Darfur has been called the worst humanitarian crisis of the 21st century. Not since the Rwandan genocide of 1994 has the world seen such a calculated campaign of displacement, starvation, rape and mass slaughter. The ongoing devastation has killed an estimated 400,000 and displaced over 2.5 million Sudanese since February 2003. Darfur is the century’s first genocide.

  • Sudan is the largest country in Africa with a population of 39 million people. Like so many countries in Africa and the Middle East, it is an “artificial” country – its national borders are the result of British and Egyptian rule. Many diverse tribal and ethnic groups are located within the Sudanese borders, including more than thirty in Darfur alone.The Darfur region, located in a drought-prone area of western Sudan, is roughly the size of Texas and had a pre-conflict population of approximately 6 million people.

  • Origins of conflict: Droughts, The North-South Civil War, the Dictator Omar Al-Bashir, and the Marginalization of Darfur.

  • Discussing the current conditions in Darfur will include talking about: The Janjaweed militias, government sponsored terror, the destruction of towns, food and water supplies, the fact that millions of innocent people are still threatened, at risk of starvation, rape and murder, and that countless children are in danger.

  • “They know what they are doing…they are doing it with purpose.” - Ali, Refugee Teacher Many of Darfur’s children witnessed conflict between rebel groups and the Janjaweed, as well as violence against their own families. This drawing depicts a rebel soldier first shot in the arm, then executed by gunshots to the groin. Ali, a teacher in a refugee camp, said the rebels are killed this way to emasculate them. “They [the Janjaweed] know what they are doing,” he said. “They are doing it with purpose.”

  • America's Response is not enough: Last summer the Bush Administration declared Darfur to be a genocide. Since then, the United States has donated $1.7 billion for Darfur, and extra funds in the Emergency Appropriations Supplemental. Secretary Rice visited Sudan in late July. Legislative: The Darfur Peace and Accountability Act is pending in both the House and the Senate, supported by strong bi-partisan coalitions. To be effective, however, the Act needs to maintain the Senate amendment (S. AMDT. 1290), which allocates $50 million to aid the AU. Executive: Executive: through NATO logistical support and USAID humanitarian donations, the United States has led the international community in assisting Darfur. However, not nearly enough has been done to assure the protection of innocent civilians, and the US administration needs to press for a Chapter 7 mandate for the AU troops, so that they can actually protect innocent lives.

  • “America's influence is not unlimited, but fortunately for the oppressed, America's influence is considerable, and we will use it confidently in freedom's cause…All who live in tyranny and hopelessness can know: the United States will not ignore your oppression, or excuse your oppressors." - George W. Bush, Inaugural Address, January 20, 2005

  • Despite some action on behalf of the world community, more action is needed. Five hundred people are still dying every day, and if nothing is done, two million people could perish. We need to act if we want this crisis to end.

  • Act: Call the White House and your Congresspersons regularly to let them know you care about Darfur:

      • White House: (202) 456-1111
      • Congress: (202) 224-3121
      • Write a letter to your Washington Liaison
      • Voice your concern to neighbors and friends about this tragedy
      • Offer donations to a humanitarian agency

  • Look beyond the headlines, understand that a genocide is occurring right now, look for how we can support a solution – and ways in which we may be contributing to the problem. These people need our help. As humans, we owe them our support and prayers. As Americans we owe them our courage and experience. We must do something to help those who suffer, and this time we can.
Mark Fiore has an interesting cartoon that puts an exclamation point on this post. It's amusing, but not funny in a ha-ha way.

Here is more information from Human Rights Watch regarding Sudan.

The Hater and I acknowledge that the world is not a fair place, but the least we (as thankful people) can do is tell you about the atrocities happening now in Darfur, and hope that you, too, make a difference by spreading the word that the American press ignores.

* pumpkin pies and butterflies
** save the cheerleader, save the world

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Rick's BBQ

Does it count as a nightmare if you dream that you're working all night?

It wasn't even my job I was working. It was a whacked-out version of the job I had at the hospital before I went to the clinic. And all of the paperwork flow-sheets had changed, which didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. Most of the coworkers I had worked with in the hospital were gone, but some of them remained, including some people from my past who aren't even nurses (but played one in my dream). It was special. And I worked all night long...

The alarm buzzed. I then woke up to realize I had to get up to go to work. I should petition to at least get time and a half for seven extra hours of overtime.

I'm pretty sure that the reason I dreamed about bad work experiences is because The Hater and I revamped my resume last night. I'm considering throwing my hat in the ring for a new job opening up at work. My resume is hot; we'll see how it weighs against umpteen-zillion years of experience. I'll follow-up later if I get the position.

For now I'll continue getting ready for my real day job.

Tonight for supper: Our Thanksgiving pre-game show... Ricks BBQ from LBG brought by The Dorks this past weekend. They're the kind of pulled pork sandwiches they serve in Heaven. And in honor of the Vol, I'll wash it down with a cold Sun Drop.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

Friday night after the Dorks went back to their hotel, The Hater and Sister and Little Brother and I stayed up far too late partaking of the fruit of the vine and playing Circle of Death.

Typically I'm not really bad at that game. But The Hater was in a picking-on mood and when he drew a category card, he chose 'rap songs', knowing that was the weakness to my musical repoitoire.

I survived about four rounds before I lost. But before that, Sister was all into this milkshake song. We referenced it about a gazillion times Saturday during the Kodak moments.

And this morning I only mention it because it's still stuck in my head.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

in the toilet

Great news! I received the letter from my endocrinologist with the results of my last tumor marker blood test... and my results are in the toilet! He had once said he'd like that lab to be under five, and my result was 4.1. Tada.

It's never felt so good to be in the toilet.

Meanwhile, while my tumor marker is circling the drain, my doctor also increased my Synthroid dose. We'll draw lab work again at the end of December for my regular office visit. We'd like the result to be a big fat zero the next time.

This doesn't mean my war with the c-bomb is over, but this particular battle that's been going on for about the last year is almost behind us. It's never felt so good to feel this bad.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Kodak moments

Just wait until you get the next Christmas card... We've been posing all day, and we have so many choices that it's been a hard decision to pick the very best one.

And the Vols won... so we're all really excited!

Friday, November 17, 2006

the Dorks are coming to town

My parents and Sister are on their way to Uglyhoma! We're excited!!

I tried making this new jello-mousse thing last night, but this morning it hasn't congealed yet. It could be the culinary disaster of the weekend. More on that as it may or may not come together.

The Hater and I pimped out my prison for Sister to stay with us this weekend. The last time she came here we had a big snow. I hear there's promise of flakes in Guymon, but we shouldn't have any of the white stuff in the city.

Have a great weekend, all!


Wednesday, November 15, 2006

sexiest man alive

There has been a major mistake at People magazine, and I am very upset about it. The Hater was overlooked again for the 2006 PEOPLE's Sexiest Man Alive award.

I'd been in close email contact with Jan in editing to make sure The Hater's application packet was complete. She had all but assured me that The Hater had won this honor. We even woke up early this morning to prepare for the paparazzi barrage. He even wore his ultra-swank tie.

But, lo, George Clooney must have paid Jan off. He just wanted to rub it in Brad Pitt's face. This is poor, George, and I am less than impressed. Shame on you. For shame, indeed.

So The Hater trudged off to work this morning with his ego deflated, still wearing his fancy tie. I have fired-off three emails to Jan in the last hour, expressing my discontent and frustration. I have sent one email to Clooney. I'm an email-firing machine of vexation this morning.

Really I know it shouldn't matter that People magazine sold out The Hater (pun intended). I know that the Clooney guy is somewhat cute, and I can see how his bribery could be justified to Jan and the editing staff. But still. They're just plain wrong.

It's time the truth comes out: The Hater is the true 2006 Sexiest Man Alive award winner. We will hold a press conference this evening to accept Pepole's apologies.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

carpet burn

All of the doo-dads and doo-dahs and things I've been working on have caused carpet burn on both of my knees, both elbows, and a really raw spot on my right foot. Oh, the things we do in the name of art.

For a good time... click this link. On the left side of the screen there will be a list of segments; click on "Marianne Beard". Then sit back and let her voice take you places.

Monday, November 13, 2006

I love football.

The Mannings are the Kennedys of football.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Santa Secrets

I have been crazy-productive this weekend. I put together a baby shower gift that's really awesome. Its crowning glory was having to use the remnants of two different wrapping paper rolls to get it wrapped. (Mother would be both slightly impressed and slightly appalled.) I've been working on Christmas stuff, too. 'Tis the season to party hardy.*

When Sister and I were little, anytime someone was talking about Christmas there was a sing-songy jeer that we used so that everybody knew we were talking about a secret we couldn't share (except that Sister is the easiest person to convince she should tell her secret). They were "Santa Secrets", and if someone evoked that phrase, we were supposed to respect the secret and the secret-bearer. The closer to Christmas, the more jeers.

g'Nhyo-g'nee -- g'nhyo-g'nee -- g'nhyoh...

All day yesterday The Hater and I worked on Christmas goodies. We have a few things that we're making for our friends, which we've completed. We also did the super big SANTA SECRET, which ended up being slightly gaggier than either of us had anticipated. But it's mostly complete, so that's almost done.

Don't get me wrong-- we're not finished with all of our Santa Secrets yet, but we are on our way. We have to get doo-dahs for the doo-dads, some other thingies, and we've not even started working on the other doo-dahs yet. But we're well on our way.

The Hater says I like to get done with Christmas stuff early so that I can say I'm done; Tada. But that's not entirely the case. The truth is that the closer it gets to Christmas, the more and more insane the congestion gets around the area where we live. I hate traffic and I hate congestion... so the quicker I get done with our doo-dahs, the less traffic and line-standing gagness I have to tolerate. And that's the truth.**

* The Hater mandates that I can't listen to Christmas music until AFTER Thanksgiving. His previous work at Goody's put a big damper on his enjoyment of Christmas music.

Oh, to add to the g'nhyo-g'nee list: The Hater and I haven't even talked about what we're getting each other yet. Due to the c-bomb we skipped celebrating our birthdays, anniversary, and every other usual celebration this year, but we're not skipping Christmas. It's going to be fun!

** "And you like to say you're done," adds The Hater.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

we remember

Today is Veteran's Day.

We remember and are thankful for all of the serviceman who have served our country, at both times of war and times of peace.

We remember those whose lives were lost in battle and those who returned home.

We remember those who cannot forget, who are plagued by the images of the things they saw or did in the name of this country.

We remember the survivors who visit memorials, remembering those who did not come home.

We remember those servicepeople who are currently serving at home and overseas.

We remember, and we are thankful for your service.

Today in American History:
1620: Pilgrim emigrants sign the Mayflower Compact, giving themselves the power to govern their planned settlement in New England.
World War I ends.
Exactly three years after the end of World War I, the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier is dedicated at Arlington Cemetery in Virginia, during a ceremony presided over by President Warren G. Harding.

Friday, November 10, 2006

The Hater's quote of the day

"If cancer was a person,
I'd punch him in the face."

The Hater

Thursday, November 09, 2006

second smile update

I remembered to take my lab slip yesterday. I had to go across the street to a draw station to get it drawn... and found out it was the wrong slip for them. So I went back to work and waited until my endocrinologist's office opened to leave a phone message for the nurse to please fax me the right form. She did, because she's great. I went back across the street and my favorite phlebotomist was there. Labs have been drawn.

The thyroid panel tests should be back within a day or so, but I'm not sure where they run the thyroglobulin (tumor marker level). They'll probably wait until they get all of my labs back before they call me to tell me how much we can increase my Synthroid. Our fingers are crossed for a wonderful increase in Synthroid as well as a drastic decrease in the tumor marker.

The Hater is more anxious about the thyroglobulin levels. I'm more excited about the panel because I'm in a dramatic desperate need to not be tired ALL OF THE TIME. I'm ready to not be fat and for my hair to grow back.

Hurry up and wait. Hurry up and wait.

I see the endocrinologist again after Christmas. I think my treatments will be dependent on how the labs look. I think we'll end up doing another radioactive Iodine treatment this Spring to be sure, but we may end up doing a "test dose" and not the whole "ablation dose". I really won't know the plan until after I see him.

I'll post more information when I get the results of the labs back.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

the Stupids' star pupil

Today my goal is to remember what I forgot yesterday. Any other things I happen to accomplish will be a bonus.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I voted.

And I have the sticker to prove it. Civic duty: check.

However, I did forget to take my lab slip to work today to get my lab drawn. So that'll be one more laggy exhausted day to add to the past several dozen, this one my fault because hypo-brain forgot it. If I remember, I'll take the paper to work and get the lab drawn tomorrow.

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow...

go vote go vote go vote

Voting is at the top of my list of things to do today.

I don't particularly want to go to work, but we need the paycheck... so The Hater and I are going our separate ways to work this morning, despite our greater desires to stay home and play with the cat and work on the collages and sleep.

I'm exhausted. If I'm able to leave work and go across the street to get my lab drawn, I'm going to do it. It's earlier than he said, but I don't know any reasons why I should really have to wait another week to get them drawn. It's time for my synthroid to be increased.

At work I'm doing different duties this week. It's not particularly hard, it's just different. And every time I cover for this nurse it always feels like Easter because I'm always hunting for something.

We plan on hitting the polls after I get off of work.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

them Vols

Sure, it was a loss to LSU... but The Hater would like to point out that it's only the second loss of the season, and in all we've only lost by a total of 5 points*.

My job was to send text messages to The Hater throughout the game, keep him posted while he was working in Kansas City. I probably sent a dozen throughout the game... as I was also talking to the LBG fan base. This included Nana, who I had to remind that we were cheering for the team in the orange pants, not the white ones.

I concede that it was a loss, but it wasn't a devastational loss. Ange really wanted to be out there playing. The Hater says that keeping him out was a good call; next year he'll be a Heisman candidate.

* Or is it 4? We only lost to Florida by one point. And at this point I'm so tired from planting pansies that I can't think straight. The number doesn't really matter; what matters is that it's a little number, and next year's season holds much promise to the Volunteer roster. How 'bout them Vols?

Thursday, November 02, 2006


Among other things, I'm trying to put together a big document of all of these blog entries. It's up to about 350 pages of prolific ramblings. This amuses me because before I started the task of cutting and pasting, I figured it might be 175 pages, maybe. And now it looks like I'm going to have to buy a ream of paper just to print it, and I'm not so sure how I'm going to bind it.

The Hater is as surprised as I am.